


An Unlikely Hero

by Akiko_Natsuko



Series: McReyes [3]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Friendship/Love, Hope, M/M, Memories, Past, Past Relationship(s), Second Chances, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-13
Updated: 2018-11-13
Packaged: 2019-08-23 06:16:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16613501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akiko_Natsuko/pseuds/Akiko_Natsuko
Summary: Jesse McCree wasn’t a hero. He hadn’t come back to be a hero, he’d came for his own selfish reasons. Reasons that he was only just beginning to understand. Yet, as he reluctantly pulled away, bracing himself for the crack of gunfire or preferably a fist to the first time, it dawned on him that maybe just maybe, he could be a hero for once. He could try and save the world, not because he was a hero, but because it was the only way he was going to be able to save Gabriel.





	An Unlikely Hero

Jesse McCree wasn’t a hero.

    He hadn’t accepted the offer to join Blackwatch out of some naïve hope that he could become like the heroes that he saw in all the Overwatch propaganda. He didn’t doubt that there were heroes, men and women who could rise to stand on that lofty pedestal and deserve it, he just knew that he wasn’t one of them, and not just because of his past. So, he had joined Blackwatch, not to be a hero, not even for redemption, because he couldn’t see how staining his hands with fresh blood and sullying himself with more secrets could fix what he had done. No, he did it because it needed to be done and he was one of the few that could do it, who could bear the stain and keeping moving, even if he did so by relying on vices and a mask, hiding the turmoil beneath a wry smile and a dry sense of humour.

   It was the same reason he had volunteered for this mission. He didn’t want to be a hero, he couldn’t share the others’ hope that this crazy plan would fix things, that it would change everything that happened at Zurich. But someone had to do it, they had made it clear that they weren’t going to abandon the plan, regardless of the low chances of success. He couldn’t let them sacrifice themselves, not when the world still needed them, these determined soldiers and scientists who believed that they could make the world a better a place, in a way that it didn’t need a broken, bloodstained cowboy who only did what needed to be done. He’d half expected Jack to offer to go, but the old soldier had refused, telling them that they should forget about changing the past, that the mistakes would be made over and over regardless of what they did…and part of him agreed, part of him knew that there was no changing what had happened.

Part of him thought that it was better not to change it.

    He didn’t voice those thoughts aloud, unable to bring himself to dim the hope in Winston’s eyes as he worked on the chronal device, Lena serious for once as she helped him. And so, he pretended to believe in the mission, to believe that he could change things as he offered his services. They couldn’t argue, he had the skills, the connections and once upon a time he’d had the ear of the one person that they needed to convince to help them change things.

Gabriel Reyes.

    _Gabriel._ McCree refused to acknowledge it, even in the privacy of his own thoughts, but this time there was another reason for him stepping up and offering to do what no sane person would. It was a selfish reason, one that he would never dare share aloud, although he was sure that 76 had an inkling, having caught him watching him with narrowed eyes on more than one occasion as they made preparations and he had taken to avoiding him. It was easier. But he couldn’t hide from the fact that his heart sped up just a little, breathing just a little tighter whenever they spoke about his former commander… not the Reaper, not the shadow of himself that he was in this time… but the man he had been, the man who had hauled Jesse out of more than one hopeless situations.

The man Jesse had loved.

    And that was his reason for going back. He didn’t believe that he could change things, that he could stop Zurich from happening or stop Gabriel from falling… not that he wouldn’t try. But, he at least wanted the chance to say goodbye this time.

     It had all become too much for him in those last few months. With the media and the U.N. homing in on their every move, it became impossible to do what needed to be done, and losses piled up on top of the suspicions, the rumours, the investigations into every mission that Blackwatch had carried out. That he had carried out. He wasn’t naïve, he knew that they had been skating the border of what was right and wrong, living in a world of greys, rather than the black and white that the public preferred to see, and that when everything came to light, it would all be over. Blackwatch would fall, and those agents that stayed might well fall with it…

   He considered staying, after all, Blackwatch had been his home, his family, for a long time and he had nowhere else to go. And then there was Gabriel… the thing between them was untouched, unspoken, but there, having grown up over the years of fighting together. But he wasn’t a hero, and some intangible feeling that might never become something more hand not been enough to keep him there and in the end, he had fled. Disappearing from the base in the middle of the night, leaving nothing but a note and an empty room behind him. He hadn’t been able to bring himself to say farewell to Gabriel, knowing that if he did, then there was no way he would be able to walk away.

Then Zurich happened.

    Sitting there in a lonely bar, he had been forced to watch the scenes replay on the news, to watch as everything he had known had turned to fire and ash. To watch as Gabriel’s name had flashed up on the screen, followed by accusations that had made his blood run cold, and all the time all he could think was that it was too late…

That he should have said goodbye.

    And so here he was, stood in the middle of the hangar in Gibraltar staring down at the device that looked like a larger, more advanced form of Lena’s chronal accelerator, the blue light pulsing as Winston finished putting the final touches to it. _Goodbye, I just want the chance to say goodbye._ If he was honest with himself, which he rarely was these days as that tended to be too painful, he wanted the opportunity to do more. But if he could do that much, he would be able to die a happy man. If he didn’t die on the trip, he amended, seeing the concern in his audiences’ eyes although they were trying their best to mask it from him and he looked down, not sure if he was trying to make it easier for them or himself.

“Mc…Jesse, are you ready?” Winston asked softly, as he finally stepped back, and McCree took a deep breath and lifted his head.

“Yes.” _No,_ now that the moment had come, nerves were clawing at him. Not about the mission, he had so little faith in that succeeding that he felt almost numb towards it, but at the thought of seeing Gabriel again. The real Gabriel, not the wraith that wore his skin and looked at the world, through burning, hateful eyes.

   Apparently, his agreement had been the signal, and he suddenly found himself surrounded. Rough pats on the shoulders, murmurs of ‘good luck’ and hugs that threatened to crush the air out of him. He had just escaped from Mei’s surprisingly strong grip, when a firm hand landed on his shoulder, turning him until he found himself face to face with Soldier 76. “I’m not going to wish you luck,” Jack muttered in his own blunt way, ignoring the protests around them in favour of meeting McCree’s gaze. “But, I will say this, some mistakes can’t be changed, can’t be stopped. Others can…so use this time wisely.” _He knows,_ there was no denying it as he stood pinned by the knowing gaze and slowly he nodded. Time and loss had made them more similar than either cared to admit, and he knew that Jack was right, that this was the only chance he was going to get, and he nodded, voice soft, his mask disappearing for a second.

“I will.”

**

    Lena had tried to explain what it would feel like, but after spending so long falling and later darting through time on a whim, she had downplayed it. To McCree, it felt as though he was being pummelled from all directions, his body trying to stretch out in a thousand different directions at once and as he fell, tumbling through blurry images of places both familiar and strange, it felt like he couldn’t breathe.  He didn’t fight it though, didn’t struggle. After all, how could you fight time itself? It was time that had started to slow his reflexes, leaving aches and stiff joints, where once he had been pain-free…time that had numbed him to the losses, to the grief at what had happened at Zurich. It was time that was currently pulling him under, stealing his breath as he fell deeper and deeper and he let himself go with it, after all, he had always known that this might end in failure. Even Winston had been forced to admit as much when he’d been asking for volunteers, and as the feeling of being compressed increased he let his eyes drift shut.

_I guess I won’t get to say goodbye after all…_

****

     When McCree gradually began to claw his way back up towards consciousness, the first thing he became aware of was the pain radiating through every inch of his body, a deep, constant throbbing that had him fighting to drift off again, to lose himself in unconsciousness until it eased. It had never worked, and it didn’t now. His mind becoming increasingly alert, even as he held himself still, trying to take stock of where he was.

He was alive.

    That was the first surprise, and his stomach churned as he remembered feeling as though he had been falling forever before he had seemed to hit a wall, the brief respite doing little to prepare him for the sensation of being forced through a narrow tunnel and at some point, he had passed out, unable to bear the pressure. It took him a moment, and several deep breaths to fight off the urge to vomit and even then, the nausea remained, a constant undertone to the throbbing in his body and he had to swallow back a groan of misery. This would teach him to go volunteering for crazy, cockamamie missions with little to no chance of success, and…

“I know that you’re awake.” The sudden voice had him tensing in alarm, a mistake, as it instantly ignited every aching part of his body and this time he couldn’t stop himself from groaning as he curled in on himself. _It hurts._ It had been a long time since he had felt like this, and it was another sign of his age, of the wear and tear of time that he couldn’t immediately recover, lying there for several minutes just trying to catch his breath.

    It was another few minutes before he could convince himself to coax his eyes open because he knew that voice, recognised it even after all this time of hearing its haunting, ruined counterpart.

    He hadn’t been ready for this, he realised as he blinked a few times to bring the blurry world back into focus, something hard and painful forming in his chest as he found himself staring up at Gabriel Reyes. At once all thought of the mission, of what he had come here to do, all his selfish reasons faded away as he stared at the man, like a starving man staring at a feast laid out just beyond his reach. He had forgotten, whether wilfully or with the passage of time how it felt to be pierced by that stern gaze, although there was a hint of confusion, and maybe something else as it slowly moved across his face and Jesse swallowed, wetting his tongue before he managed to force out a weak.

“Hey, boss….”

    In the past he would have laughed at the startled expression that greeted his words, would have savoured the fact that he had managed to ruffle the great Gabriel Reyes’ unflappable exterior. Now, he just felt weary amusement, his eyes prickling as Gabriel leant away, giving him a chance to take in where they were. It took him a moment to recognise the dreadful, Victorian style wallpaper of the safehouse in Venice, an incredulous grin spreading across his lips.

It had worked.

It had really worked.

    When they had first begun planning the mission, the idea had been for him to aim to land in Zurich. McCree had been the one to shoot that idea down, pointing out that if he appeared, fully armed – and there was no way he was leaving his gun behind – in Zurich, then he would find himself in an interrogation room sooner than he could say ‘hello’. And there was no guarantee that he would be allowed to reach out to Blackwatch, especially as Blackwatch wasn’t supposed to exist. He had been the one to suggest this date…this place…remembering the week-long mission, that had turned into a two-week mission that had left Gabriel stranded in the safe house until Blackwatch had been able to extract him. There was no guarantee they had hit the right date so he might not have the full two weeks to work on Gabriel, but at least it would give him a chance…

    If Gabriel didn’t put a bullet in his head first, he amended, realising that Gabriel had retrieved one of his shotguns and now had it levelled at him. The only comfort being that his finger wasn’t already resting on the trigger, although he knew that could quickly change if he said the wrong thing. “Who the hell are you? How did you find this place?” The confusion was buried, replaced by a stony glare that would have had his younger self scrambling for cover, however, McCree was different now, older and had seen far worse things than an irate Commander, and he sighed, settling back on what he now realised was a bed.

“Do you really have to ask, Gabe…?” He had been one of the few to use that nickname, having hesitantly mimicked Morrison at one point expecting to be growled at, only to find that Gabriel had seemed to prefer it, at least when they were alone or amongst those he trusted. The confusion was back, along with a hint of frustration, Gabriel’s finger inching a little closer to the trigger, and remembering 76’s warning not to waste what time he had, McCree abandoned his games. “McCree…” he murmured, unable to forget the first time he had given Gabriel his name, spitting it at him like a wildcat across the table in the interrogation room, wariness and defiance radiating from him. Today all he felt was tired, longing creeping in now that they were so close…and yet so far, he amended as Gabriel shifted, fingers tightening on the gun.

“How?”

      McCree blinked, startled by the quiet question, as he had expected a more disbelieving response and it must have shown in his face because Gabriel chuckled a humourless, brittle noise. “There’s only one person who would dress like that…” He gestured at McCree’s clothing and the hat that McCree had only just noticed resting on the table next to the bed. “Even at your age…” There was the confusion again, although McCree was more focused on the comment, bristling at the implication and despite the gun still levelled at him, he pushed himself upright on trembling arms.

“I’m not that old,” he protested, promptly forgetting about the aches and pains and the fact that he had been lamenting his age just the other week as the younger team members had run circles around him. “I just finally caught up to you, so if you’re saying that I’m old…” He trailed off suggestively, trying not to react to the realisation that right now they were of an age…reluctantly admitting that Gabriel bore it better, although looking at him now, without the hero worship of his younger self, it was easier to see the grey’s woven in with the brown, the lines around his eyes, laughter and stress taking their toll.

“Watch it, pup,” Gabriel growled, and McCree couldn’t help but smirk at having drawn out the expected response this time, but then he sobered. In all the time spent planning for the mission, they had never worked out how the hell he was to explain the mess to come, and sitting there looking at Gabriel, he wasn’t sure that he could do it. How could he tell this man, that within a few short months everything would come crashing down around them, that McCree…his younger self…would disappear into the night without a word, that Zurich would fall, taking Overwatch and Gabriel with it. That he would become a wraith, consumed by the need for revenge…

How did you put something like that into words?

    He knew that his hesitation was showing, and he was unsurprised when Gabriel focused on him once more, expression turning grim. “And you didn’t answer my question. Which means you’ve either been up to mischief, or things are about to go to hell… so which is it, Jesse?”

“That’s not fair,” McCree muttered. He had always been weak to hearing Gabriel use his first name, a fact that his Commander had swiftly noticed and made use of whenever he was being particularly stubborn, and he was dismayed to realise that, that much hadn’t changed. “I don’t know where to start,” he admitted, knowing that if he didn’t say something now, then regardless of whether Gabriel accepted that he was Jesse McCree he was going to end up with a bullet in him.

“The beginning is usually a good place to start.”

“The beginning, huh….” McCree wasn’t even sure where the beginning of this mess was. Was it at the end of the Omnic Crisis when Overwatch had first been conceived? Was it that day in the interrogation room when Gabriel had held out a hand, and an offer for a better life, to a young man who might never have lived this long without that chance? Was it the secret missions like this one, that had started to cross the line? The secrets, the lies…the media attention? “I’m not sure I know the answer to that either,” he admitted finally, making sure to meet and hold Gabriel’s gaze, refusing to flinch as his expression darkened or at the low growl that followed.

“Then what do you know?”

    _Too many things_ , McCree thought bitterly. With hindsight had come the realisation that he had seen many of the cracks as they formed, he just hadn’t recognised them for what they were. Maybe if he had, he could have changed things. _Maybe._ Then with the recall had come fresh revelations, people that were supposed to be dead crawling out of the woodwork and bringing to light secrets that he almost wished he’d never learnt about. Then there was Reaper, and the angry words spat in the middle of fights, words that hinted at even deeper, darker secrets and he couldn’t help but think about them as he stared at Gabriel. Did he already have those secrets? Were the cracks already there?

_Some mistakes can’t be changed, can’t be stopped. Others can…so use this time wisely_

Soldier 76’s words replayed through his mind, and he paused. He knew that the old vigilante knew more than he had said, that he had more reasons for refusing to have a part in this mission than those he had given, but he also knew that he was right. Some things couldn’t be changed, couldn’t be stopped, and maybe Zurich was one of them. Maybe losing Gabriel and seeing him become the Reaper was one of them. However, that had never been why he had accepted the mission, why he had come this far to see Gabriel, and he took a deep breath as he remembered why he had come, the farewell on the tip of his tongue. But those words, they had no place in the here and now, not with Gabriel sat there within arms reach and finally he sighed.

“Shoot me later,” he pleaded, seeing the confusion that greeted his words as he lunged forward, pushing past the aching protest that greeted the movement and reaching for Gabriel. His fingers closed on the front of Gabriel’s hoodie, biting deep and with a daring, he didn’t know he had and a courage he would probably never find again he hauled his former-Commander closer. It wasn’t the kiss he had fantasised when he was younger, there was nothing tender about it, it was a clash of lips and teeth, messy with desperation and hunger that had been denied for too long.

Gabriel didn’t pull away.

     He was slower to respond, but after a moment he leant into the kiss, fighting McCree for dominance with a low growl. It was nothing like McCree had imagined, but it was everything he had needed, and finally, as he felt Gabriel tug at his bottom lip he admitted to himself that this was why he had come back…why he had wanted another chance to see Gabriel before it was too late.

   Jesse McCree wasn’t a hero. He hadn’t come back to be a hero, he’d came for his own selfish reasons. Reasons that he was only just beginning to understand. Yet, as he reluctantly pulled away, bracing himself for the crack of gunfire or preferably a fist to the first time, it dawned on him that maybe just maybe, he could be a hero for once. He could try and save the world, not because he was a hero, but because it was the only way he was going to be able to save Gabriel. To save the man that was slowly straightening in his seat, expression open and vulnerable in a way that McCree had never seen before as he brushed a finger across his lips, and it was the only way he could ensure that they got more time. Time to talk about what had happened, time to let that unspoken, intangible thing become something more and McCree took a deep breath, meeting Gabriel’s gaze squarely when he looked up at the noise.

“Let me tell you about what happened to Zurich…”


End file.
